Low libido? It could be your nervous system
Jun 17, 2025
Are you experiencing low libido?
This is something many clients who work with me, want help with.
It’s not always about hormones, and it’s rarely just one thing.
For many women, low desire is the result of multiple overlapping root causes.
One of the most overlooked is a dysregulated nervous system.
If your body has spent all day in survival mode, constantly rushing, reacting and running on cortisol, the last thing it’s going to prioritise is sex.
It’s not about willpower. It’s about physiology. Your body needs to feel safe, grounded and relaxed to even want intimacy.
🚩 What can shut down your sex drive?
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Chronic stress and burnout
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Fatigue, overwhelm and poor sleep
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Hormonal shifts (PMS, postpartum, perimenopause)
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Resentment, disconnection or past trauma
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Mental load and perfectionism
🔍 Root causes may include:
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High cortisol and nervous system dysregulation
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Low oestrogen, progesterone or testosterone
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Low dopamine, oxytocin or B6
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Thyroid or gut dysfunction
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Iron, magnesium or zinc deficiency
It’s often not just one issue. It’s a combination of stress, hormones, emotions, energy and nervous system overload.
🧬 Let’s talk about something we don’t discuss enough:
Women and men have different physiological wiring when it comes to desire.
👉 Women often need to feel safe and relaxed to want intimacy.
👉 Men often need intimacy to feel relaxed.
Of course, this isn’t true for everyone. But it’s a common pattern — and it can create real tension in relationships if not understood.
It becomes a chicken-and-egg situation. You feel shut down. He feels disconnected. Both of you feel like something is wrong.
There is nothing wrong with you if you have a low libido. It’s often a completely natural, protective response to being in survival mode.
💬 Also… let’s be clear:
If you’re tired and just don’t feel like it — that’s completely okay.
You are not meant to be “on” all the time.
And if your libido is low but you’re not worried about it, that’s valid too.
You don’t need to fix something that doesn’t feel like a problem.
This is for you if you do feel disconnected and want to understand why.
🌡 Another thing that needs to be talked about (and it’s a whole topic on its own):
Perimenopause and Menopause.
As we transition into menopause, hormones do begin to play an even greater role.
This can affect:
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Libido and desire
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Mood and motivation
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Vaginal tissue health and lubrication
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Energy and body image
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Overall connection to self and sexuality
At this stage, you may require additional hormonal support alongside nervous system and lifestyle strategies.
If you’re in this phase of life and feeling disconnected from your body or intimacy, you're not alone — and support is available.
❤️ Simple ways to start supporting your libido:
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Understand your body is not like a man’s. Learn what you need to feel safe and connected
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Read: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski (a must-read)
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Practice diaphragmatic or box breathing, morning and night
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Try a vagus nerve reset (video coming soon)
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Self-care to nourish your nervous system:
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A warm bath with lavender and Epsom salts
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Moisturising with a beautiful product
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Making your bedroom calming and sensual
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Evening walks (even just 20 minutes)
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Getting out in nature whenever you can
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✨ Your sex drive is not just about hormones.
It’s about your nervous system, your energy, your emotions and your sense of safety.
📆 Want to explore the root causes of your libido, hormones or energy?
I offer 1:1 consultations to help you reconnect with your body and feel like yourself again.
